Technically - Post-Easter

It's been an interesting weekend. I slept a lot but actually managed to get some major things done.
I completed the first section of the Professional Organizers Certification course and will email the course work tomorrow. There was quite a bit of reading, but it was all very interesting.
Have been thinking a lot lately about being alone and trying to not let that invade my thoughts too much. Not sure whether it's due to the medication I am on or if it's just another cycle where being alone gives way to feeling lonely. It's not so much that I am missing affection as it is I feel like I am missing the physical part of connecting with someone. Not even in a sexual way, but more just the intimacy.
It's all a little perplexing because I do enjoy my personal space and can feel smothered pretty easily.
Also, I was hoping after six months in a new place I would at least have a new friend or two, but that just hasn't happened. It's not that I haven't met a couple of new people, just no one to hang around with or to connect with. The people that I have met have their own lives or are much younger than I am, etc.
Not feeling well for much of the past two months hasn't helped. There is a lot of external stress and things that are far beyond my control, yet effect me because they effect the people that I love.
I probably need to go to church. I've been having a lack of faith. When I see people trying to do the right thing and yet nothing works out for them it makes me wonder where God is in all of this. I also feel like I need to be the hero and I can't be the hero. I don't feel like I have the tools or the means to help so I do nothing, or just spin my wheels and worry.
I also need to set some goals for myself. I don't have any concrete goals that are life affirming or life changing in place, and I am really feeling the need for change in my life.
As if moving to a new place wasn't enough of a change. I feel like that is more of a constant more than a change.
I do really miss my best friend. It seems to me over the past couple of months we have not been in touch with one another as often. It's as much my fault - actually it's not a "fault" thing, it just is. And I know I can do something about it. I just need to make more of an effort.
I know there is something else out there for me. I don't know what it is, so I don't know that I would recognize it if it was to land in my lap. There's a lack of accomplishment that I feel in general, and that's more prevalent than usual.
Writing this blog is one way I am hoping to get things out of my head and in front of me. Perhaps I will stumble on something that just needs to be articulated.
It's late, time to sleep, tomorrow will march on ready or not, and I would rather be ready than not.