The jewelry trunk show at Two Tulips was a lot of fun! I sold 17 pieces, mostly to store employees, and from a salon that is around the corner from the store. I posted photos on my facebook page and sold another piece to an IBMer that is in Austin within an hour. That was pretty cool. Also, one of the customers in Indiana decided she wanted one of the more expensive pieces after I had brought it home, so I am shipping it back!
I've still been thinking about the past, quite a bit. I am not sure why. Perhaps it has been reconnecting with people that I thought I would never see or hear from again. There is something rather profound about thinking about a person or a thing and having them or it manifest right before your eyes. Putting thoughts into the universe, praying, meditating, whatever you want to call it - positive out = positive in. The same goes for negativity. I am trying that same thing with the facial pain - trying not to dwell on it and trying to remember what it felt like before the problem. Most mornings I wake up thinking it's gone, only to be reminded that it's not. I realize how difficult it is to put things like that in the back of your mind when it is also ever present.
Still wrestling with loneliness although I am not really doing much of anything to address it. Not until I acknowledge it and take action can it even be dealt with. I know that, but don't seem to have the energy to tackle it.
Still wrestling with a certain amount of anger seeing how family situations are unfolding. How someone doing what they see as the right thing and being betrayed, having their whole way of life turned upside down and it not being from their own actions. Who deserves that? How much anger can I hold on to without it effecting me, and for what? It does not serve me well in any way, but it's something, again, that seems to be always in the background. I know time may be the biggest healer here, but I am not ready to forgive. My fear is that I won't find it within myself to forgive.
It's been a long Saturday - and it's still early evening. The cat is a little sickly. I know she senses my moods and she even pets me when I am holding her. She's old and sweet - and I am the "crazy cat lady" or a close second!
The wind is still and it looks like we may get a nice tame thunderstorm and rain. I am going to take a chair out onto the covered porch and enjoy the smell of the rain with the freshly cut grass.
Think I may go to church tomorrow. There is a Lutheran church that seems to be a good fit based on what I hear; an open community. It's more of a reconnection that I need I think.
When I am down, I need to look around. I am blessed - more than I can imagine and need to remind myself of that fact. Blessed is so many ways - I need to work on being thankful.
Here comes the rain! I'll close today with words from an old Amy Grant song that I recently heard - the chorus seems to fit well:
the same sun that melts the wax can harden clay
and the same rain that drowns the rat, will grow the hay
and the mighty wind that knocks us down, if we lean into will drive our fears away.
